This Is Not the Life I Ordered - Blacks Be Blackin'

One of the ways in which many folks in some marginalized groups manifest unconscious self-loathing is by being far crueler to members of their own group than they ever would to members of that cohort they perceive as their oppressor.

Imitation of the oppressor is, in my opinion, one of the most consistent features of Black American culture. It's the ultimate paradox: In no other circumstances do members of this community come together more loyally, fiercely, and consistently than when a member of this group is slighted, abused, or killed by the so-called oppressor. Yet, in the daily lives of this community and among one another exclusively, Black Americans are, in my opinion, the least compassionate and considerate, the most mistrustful, envious -- and envy provoking -- and combative human beings among one another than any other community in the world.

Just an observation that a recent experience has forced me to finally accept (after millions of others like it). I'd love to feel wrong about this and I'd love to know we aren't alone, but I don't think so.

This Is Not the Life I Ordered -- This One's on the House

 People need to stop shaming drinkers. People drink for many reasons. For some, it's to manage emotional pain. Others, to facilitate creativity. Not every drinker is a messy, belligerent asshole who drives shitfaced or beats their partner. Some people just like to be a little tipsy, and there's nothing wrong with that.

We've elevated sex workers from prostitutes, trans men and women from "transv#stites" or "cross-dressers," we've legalized marijuana (after which we have seen a curious uptick in serious mental health episodes like psychosis and homicidal mania in our major cities since this "harmless" drug became legal), and managing drug addictions like crystal meth, heroin, and crack is now referred to as "harm reduction." And even psychotherapy is embracing psychedelic drugs as a panacea for afflictions like ADHD, PTSD, and OCD.

But a drunk is still a drunk. And I don't get that.

As a depressive personality who drinks, I sometimes overshoot the mark and it makes my symptoms worse. But most of the time it's really helpful to have a few beers when I'm feeling anxious, down, or need a burst of creative inspiration. Or when someone wants to call me to be their therapist -- believe it or not, I'm a lot of people's therapist -- it's almost imperative I have a beer for the ride.

But many of these same "patients" of mine will attribute every single thing in my own life that goes wrong to the fact that I drink beer. My roof could fall in because a North Korean drone fell on it and some people I know will say, "Well, were you drinking?"

I drink. Daily. Which I love to do, am proud to do, and am not going to stop doing. Sometimes I'm more sensitive, sadder, and/or more loquacious after one too many. Other times I'm funnier, smarter, and you're better looking when I do it. So stop complaining.

Everybody has their thing. Stop shaming people for what's not yours. Or just leave them the fuck alone. Cheers.