Are there any other New Yorkers out there who seriously, no-joke, "dead-ass" wonder if they are going to die today every time they get on the subway? I have tried biking, busing, and scrapped all kinds of plans to avoid the trains over the last year or however long it's been since the new normal. This is because, outside of the daily reports of stabbings, hammerings, shootings, pushing onto tracks, and all manner of random, unprovoked savagery, I have been approached now three times by crazy people who for whatever reason find me threatening so they just walk up to me and try to provoke some kind of exchange. And I never even say a word. Often it has something to do with my "big muscles," which aren't even *that* big. (Apparently, on top of my other woes, I look like a 'roughneck' to people.) Well, I did not discuss this on Facebook for whatever reason, but about a month ago a crazy dude got on the train blasting and mumbling along to his violent rap music on one of those little canister stereo things and decided that he didn't like Dominicans and that I was Dominican (I am not) and after a long rant about "fuck them Dominicans," and some other madness, he looked at me and threatened to shoot me. I'm not joking. For nor reason. I didn't look at the dude, I didn't say anything to him, and I am not and nor do I think I look Dominican. (And even if I were, so what? What's wrong with all these crazy black racist fucks attacking people for being some other race or another?) Luckily, the train (the 1) was pulling into 66th at Lincoln Center, which is one of the most culturally dignified neighborhoods in the city, and people emptied the car and ran up to the conductor, some even faster than I did. The train stopped, police were called, I was shaking but had an appointment (with my therapist) and got on the bus at Broadway and walked into her office explaining what had just happened and apparently I was so shaken up my nose started gushing blood. For a moment, I thought I had been shot. It was crazy. The next day I went out and spent over $900 on a bike. I've ridden the thing twice. I love it in the Park or along the water, but on the streets I just feel like I traded one bullet for another. Most of these city street bikers, frankly, are entitled and crazy. How one isn't wiped out every day is beyond me. I'm more afraid of them than the cars. Which aren't much better because no one is looking at the road. All the Lyft and Uber drivers are looking at their GPS systems. Anyway, this week I'm back on the trains. So far so good. The A/C/B/D trains are roomier and people appear to be more civilized. Except the station platforms are a little scary. A lot of loiters and scary hominids just lingering about. But the ride isn't as populated with lunatics as the 2/3, which is basically a moving insane asylum. The 6 has always had the ugliest people even pre-pandemic but since the east side buses actually arrive and move on time, I tend to just bus it on that side of town. Anyway, today I need to get on the crazy train and I'm pondering my mortality the way one might before going under anesthesia for the first time. Anyone else get like this or is this just me being...me?
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