This Is Not the LIfe I Ordered -- Aging and Courtesy Sex: Charity Begins at Home

 So instead of drinking my anxiety away, lately I’ve been having quite a lot of sex. Meeting guys not only online, but at the gym and even on the street while running errands and hooking up with them at my place or theirs. But yesterday, for the first time in my life, I had “courtesy sex” with a hookup who came over, having aged about 15 years since the photos he shared with me online. In person, I can only hope I was able to mask the disappointment when I opened the door of my apartment and allowed him to cross the threshold. 

Immediately, my mind calculated multiple plausible excuses to get him out of here and find someone hotter — and younger! I felt like a dick but come on… his decade or older pictures were basically lies. Having gotten spoiled after over a decade plus of bedding gorgeous guys 15-30 years younger than I am, sleeping with a middle aged man who left vanity with the era of print newspaper seemed entirely out of the question. But I was horny as fuck and he was here, and he was hungry. So instead of making up an excuse to veil my disappointment, I decided to just fuck the guy, who btw could not stop telling me how handsome he thought I was. Today, I quickly decided, I get to be the prize. So I took this guy, who may have been my age, maybe slightly older (profile says 44), or quite possibly a little younger, who looked like he had never seen the inside of a gym in his life, whose “pecs” were like a middle aged woman’s sagging tits, but whose plump buttocks still stood high (he was part South Asian so maybe it was that?), and I turned him over like an omelet and fucked him to the best of my ability and generosity. I pretended to be a whore, a sexy Mandingo male hooker, bathing in his moans and other expressions of much needed and long awaited pleasure and fucked him as long as I could before the intrusive thoughts about his sagging tits and homely face took over and his request to be turned over missionary style made me realize that I could never truly be a whore, not as a total top, and when I finally could no longer sustain my erection I blamed it on the condom he requested I wear, being the man of his times, a pre-Prep era, he was. But I gave him ten minutes of Mandingo from heaven. And he made me feel like the most beautiful man he had slept with since the turn of the digital era.

At the end of it all, while waiting for a hotter and much younger dude to come over from Astoria, Queens, that would actually be worth my nut, I felt proud of my generosity. That is, before I was suddenly stricken by the most revolting intrusive thought of all: How long would it be before I’m the benefactor of someone’s ageist charity fuck? 

This is Not the Life I Ordered -- God Forbid, a Politician Gives a Thoughtful, Unprepared Response

 In response to the article "AOC's Munich Stumble Is a Warnign to the Left: : https://nymag.com/intelligencer/article/aocs-munich-stumble-is-a-warning-to-the-left.html?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=s1&utm_campaign=nym

The left doing what it does best, eating its own.

Sure, I respect that our "side" can critique itself. After all, one of the most repelling traits of the conservative/MAGA crowd is that they're not only hypocrites who will criticize the other side for doing (usually a lesser version of) exactly the thing they have done or will eventually do, but they almost never call each other out, even in the most egregious and obvious circumstances. They don't talk outside of the house, if you wll, very much. They defend, deflect, and deter against all threats. They shrug off inelegance and ineloquence like a colleague's public flatulation one is too polite to acknowledge awareness. But Dems and libs? We see one of ours fuck up and we go blasting it in our own media platforms because, as the adults in the room, so to speak, we hold ourselves to a higher standard than the other side.

And here we have one of the most unapologetically left-leaning media platforms, New York mag, telling the world that AOC not only farted in Munich, but that she shit the bed. That she should never be a contender for the White House.

Yes, AOC (who I have conflicting feelings about but overall like and respect) was clumsy and seemed unprepared in her response to this question about Taiwan and China. And as a woman and a POC, she's already a target so any legitimate stumble is going to, well, garner exactly the attention it's getting. But, were she a man or a wyte person or both, would her stuttering just seem like someone searching for the right words? Or would clear and blatant unpreparedness be forgiveable? And were she a conservative figure, would this even be news? From the president on down, many of the representatives in the conservative party proudly flaunt their ignorance. Geography, history, culture, language, their ignorance traverses all areas of international or multicultural details, let alone pedantics, and it's almost as if there's some kind of pride in flaunting their ignorance of anything outside of wyte American Christian culture, a dog-whistle of their prideful xenophobia. Liberals, on the other hand, are supposed to be the smarty pantses, the culture vultures, the multilingual, scientific oriented world-travelers who somehow find the time to finish every issue of the New Yorker and the Economist, along with the dailies and their corresponding podcasts, primed and ready even in REM sleep to answer any question about any historical fact or current conflict -- with footnotes-- or risk looking like, heaven forbid, they don't know everything. And as a WOC, the whiff of "See, this is what happens when they get the opportunities they're always asking for or lamenting about not getting" turns on full stank.

AOC didn't have an answer ready. Which meant, God forbid, she had to think about it as we waited in real time to watch her think through a question about a complicated situation, as opposed to having a prepared soundbite ready at the gate. Sorry, but I'll take the ums and uhs over mindless drivel any day.

Because she was thinking. And we watched her think for 20 seconds before she delivered an answer that was worthy of the question.