So instead of drinking my anxiety away, lately I’ve been having quite a lot of sex. Meeting guys not only online, but at the gym and even on the street while running errands and hooking up with them at my place or theirs. But yesterday, for the first time in my life, I had “courtesy sex” with a hookup who came over, having aged about 15 years since the photos he shared with me online. In person, I can only hope I was able to mask the disappointment when I opened the door of my apartment and allowed him to cross the threshold.
Immediately, my mind calculated multiple plausible excuses to get him out of here and find someone hotter — and younger! I felt like a dick but come on… his decade or older pictures were basically lies. Having gotten spoiled after over a decade plus of bedding gorgeous guys 15-30 years younger than I am, sleeping with a middle aged man who left vanity with the era of print newspaper seemed entirely out of the question. But I was horny as fuck and he was here, and he was hungry. So instead of making up an excuse to veil my disappointment, I decided to just fuck the guy, who btw could not stop telling me how handsome he thought I was. Today, I quickly decided, I get to be the prize. So I took this guy, who may have been my age, maybe slightly older (profile says 44), or quite possibly a little younger, who looked like he had never seen the inside of a gym in his life, whose “pecs” were like a middle aged woman’s sagging tits, but whose plump buttocks still stood high (he was part South Asian so maybe it was that?), and I turned him over like an omelet and fucked him to the best of my ability and generosity. I pretended to be a whore, a sexy Mandingo male hooker, bathing in his moans and other expressions of much needed and long awaited pleasure and fucked him as long as I could before the intrusive thoughts about his sagging tits and homely face took over and his request to be turned over missionary style made me realize that I could never truly be a whore, not as a total top, and when I finally could no longer sustain my erection I blamed it on the condom he requested I wear, being the man of his times, a pre-Prep era, he was. But I gave him ten minutes of Mandingo from heaven. And he made me feel like the most beautiful man he had slept with since the turn of the digital era.
At the end of it all, while waiting for a hotter and much younger dude to come over from Astoria, Queens, that would actually be worth my nut, I felt proud of my generosity. That is, before I was suddenly stricken by the most revolting intrusive thought of all: How long would it be before I’m the benefactor of someone’s ageist charity fuck?
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